I miss getting in my car and being able to just get up and go, I think I underestimated that when I was home. Granted I wasn’t allowed to just go absolutely anywhere, it was nice to know I had that option. I think being in a house all day makes me feel even more stuck. Mentally and physically. But I think I’d still rather be here than home, anywhere but home. 
and today on top of that is the long sunday morning wait. I’m giving it a name because it’s happened many times. It’s when christian goes out saturday night and he’s either (a)too drunk to call me or (b)too drunk to talk to, so he falls asleep on me. And then he doesn’t wake up until around 2 the next day and at some point calls me. The wait usually feels like a long ass time because for some reason the next morning I wake up earlier than usual. Not sure what I’m going to say this time.