Part of me feels soo shitty right now and I’m tired of talking about it & it pisses me off that my boyfriend can’t or doesn’t want to be there for me? So now i’m just pretending like I don’t need him but I really do. But he’s so… thoughtless sometimes. How could someone be that thoughtless? It hurts. Good thing i’m not home I guess. Oh and he’s one of those liars who don’t lie but he just leaves things out cause he forgets to tell me or makes it a point to not tell me- I don’t know which one it is sometimes. And he said he wouldn’t do that anymore but I know he does. How would someone stop doing that, if they’ve always done that. That’s like me and my parents- they like to think I stopped lying about big stuff to them and I still do it just so I can keep them happy. He’s still doing that, how could he stop. 
&  the music i’ve been listening to doesn’t help either. it just reminds me of being romantic and blah blah blah and how much I’m dying for that. BUTTT i love it. 
& I miss my best friends. But I don’t think they believe me cause they think I must be heartless too. I should be calling them instead of finding time to write this pointless post. But i’m in the middle of writing a one page paper that’s taking forever cause my mind is somewhere else right now. oh jesus